There was talk of disintegrating marriages on 
The  Real Housewives of Atlanta this week. There was also a major  craving for pickles.
Fortunately, our THG intern is here to run  down the latest series of scripted events on this Bravo hit. Sit back,  try not to lose your breakfast and enjoy...
The ladies were all  around frisky this week.  Kandi is hosting her "Kandi Koated Nights"  webcast and invites Kim as her special guest.  The topic: Cheaters.   Does Kim consider herself one? No way!  And let's just make it clear  that she doesn't have any "beef curtains," either!  We also learn that  Kandi has been in a contest with a friend to see who can remain celibate  for a year. This explains the raunchy nature of her show. That's where  she's getting her jollies these days.
Nene and Cynthia are hanging out a lot more  because Nene's marital problems with Gregg have surfaced. Since her  plastic surgeon has given her the okay to guzzle down wine again,  Nene hangs out at Cynthia's house and complains to Cynthia about her  disintegrating 13-year-old marriage to Gregg. 
Nene doesn't trust Gregg and is annoyed that she gave him her 20s  and 30s and all it's brought her is a run down body and grief.  She  tells Cynthia she's near her breaking point and is seriously thinking  about divorcing Gregg.  This terrifies Cynthia and confirms her fear of  marriage.
Sheree  preps for a dinner date with The Love Doctor (aka Ty-E Muhammed) and has  her 24-year-old daughter, Dawn, and her fiancee, come over to baby sit.
Phaedra and Apollo have a "classy" pregnancy  photo shoot by posing with a jar of pickles on the back porch.  Phaedra  wants to document her belly and swallowing down a whole lot of pickles  does the trick.
The Love Doctor puts  Sheree to work in the kitchen by slicing strawberries and licking cookie  dough off his fingers.  Sheree says she's not used to manual labor.   But she is happy that The Love Doctor has no belly.  She also admits  that she needs money in a relationship since "love don't pay no bills."  The fact that The Love Doctor seems a little desperate in asking Sheree  for a kiss on their second date turns her off.
Kandi asks her mom, Joyce, for advice on how to handle Riley's  absentee dad, who wants to participate in his daughter's life now after  eight years of ignoring the little girl. In a heartbreaking scene, Riley  tells Kandi that she doesn't really care if she has a dad or not.   She's built up a hell of a wall and Kandi's afraid of bringing any man  into her life after AJ, to whom Riley grew attached. Single motherhood  runs in the family, so Joyce tells Kandi  to be strong.
Meanwhile, Nene and Cynthia go bridal shopping shop  for new bras.  Nene doesn't like wearing these because she "paid for her  titties to stand up" and she likes her "hooker boobs" (real  high...nipples to the sky).  Cynthia invites Nene to her Mother's Day  brunch and Nene's thrilled to be going to an affair where Phaedra and  her ex-con husband will also be.  Just how she wanted to spend her  Mama's Day.
And what a brunch it  is! 
Kim bails because her kid  is once again sick (a recurring theme whenever Kim wants to get out of  something).  Kandi shows up with Riley and Joyce.   Nene shows up with  Brentt.  Sheree brings her daughter, Kaleigh.  And Phaedra deigns to  come to Cynthia's home, which she explains is in a gentrification zone  in which they turned the hood into the suburbs.  It's not for her, but  she'll make the effort to visit the peasants.
She's also bringing Mr. Clean/Apollo. 50-year-old Peter confronts  Phaedra about her comments last week about him having five kids and  Phaedra explains that what she meant was that it's just better for a  woman to be involved with a man with no baby mama.  We learn that  Phaedra has no idea when her baby is due. She claims that the doctors  will be taking the baby out at 34 weeks because he's "all done. 
Hey, as long as those lungs and other organs  are good, it's time for that puppy to come out!  The ladies are  horrified and Nene flips out.
The  chitchat gets really raunchy when Kandi starts giving the ladies sex  tips. Pop Rocks aid in pleasing your man, apparently, as does sugar in  the va-jay-jay.  Phaedra knows all about the sugar trick but says  powdered sugar works best.  Nene once again flips out and says she wants  no candied yams up inside her! 
Mr.  Clean shows up with a Gucci diaper bag for his baby mama, which  completely turns off Sheree.  50-year-old Peter sticks his foot in his  mouth when he tells Nene that the reason her marriage is falling apart  is because she's like a log in bed. Nene says she's not into manual  labor and, as far as she's concerned, 50-year-old Peter has crossed the  line. 
Nene's afraid of being alone but  Kandi's mom offers her advice and tells her to let her guard down every  so often and be herself. Don't waste any more time on pleasing others  and be true to yourself. She needs to let people in and take off that  armor.  Nene feels a connection to Joyce and cries.  Nene's one hot  mama after all!